There are some situations that I can’t do anything about and when I find myself struggling to try to fix the situations I find myself realizing there is nothing I can do but put my trust in God. My willingness today depends on my relationship with a Higher Power whom I choose to call God. When I find myself in a situation where I’m hurting I find myself asking God why and then learning to turn my will and life over to the care of God. I find peace in these actions. I have found when I become dependent on God I become dependent on myself more and more. For me this was and is a freeing process. Living life on life’s terms is sometimes hard for me. I find myself imposing my will and then realize that my will never works. When I trust in my Higher Power I learn to let it go. For me in the beginning it was a relationship I had to build gradually since I looked at God in a punishing way and was punishing myself. When I started to see God as a loving, caring and forgiving God is when my relationship began and I was able to forgive myself and move on. Life has become a different journey for me when I learned to trust God and turn my will over. So whatever Higher Power you have learned to trust in it. This process always grows throughout the years.
I was always told to share my story, So I started this blog
I have been sharing some of my of past and some of my thoughts on recovery but I never thought in a million years that there would be so many others out there that can relate to my writings. I guess that is what I get for thinking. It is always nice to know that you are not alone and that there are others that feel the same way you do.
I take breaks to go and read other blogs that have been posted and shared and I’m finding out more and more that I dont have to struggle as much as I do in being honest and sharing because I’m not alone. I’m truly grateful for all of my readers, followers, and commentator’s. It helps me to stay humble, blessed, and compassionate. So for all of my readers that have visited my blog I’m grateful for you all. Please keep sharing with me as this gives me hope. It is always nice to hear some of your stories.
Never, ever did I think t that there was so many kind and compassion hearts in so many people and for this I just want to say ” I’m Grateful”.
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”
12 X 12 page 40
Sometimes it takes a while to sit in my own pain until I become willing to do the next right thing to remove that pain. Willingness is a good tool in sobriety to have. As you start to apply it in your life you find that you become more and more free. Willingness means I will do what ever it is I have to do to remove that pain. I went to any lengths to get that drink or drug so I have to be willing to go to any lengths to keep my sobriety. It could be a resentment, family, job, friend, ect… If I do the work I need to do on my part the promises tell me I will know a new freedom and a new happiness. It is when we try to make our will conform with God’s that we begin to use it rightly. There is an inner peace that you will have that you thought you would never be able to achieve. If your read Step 3 in the 12X12 it really gives you the tools to be able to work on yourself and move forward. Sometime’s it take’s me a minute but if I just apply willingness just for today I will know that inner peace. Don’t give your power away to anyone or anything. You deserve to be clean and sober and you are earning that seat so take whatever it is in every meeting you go to and apply that in your life.
Just Be Willing.
3RD STEP PRAYER
Big Book page 63
God, I offer myself to Thee To build with me & to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy love & Thy way of life.
May I do Thy will always.