Oh how I’m looking forward to sharing my hope on this topic. NOT
Today I’m so blessed by being a Grateful Alcoholic but my fears of economic insecurity has not left me. Today it is a healthy fear as I’m not trying to avoid my bills that come in the mail, I deal with them one step at a time. What the 12 steps has done for me is made me a responsible human being, paying my bills. Early on in sobriety I depended on whom ever I was dating at the time to pay my bills. As I kept going to meetings I started learning it had to either be my sobriety or the boyfriend that was still drinking, using, and very unhealthy for me. I had to make a choice. Do I want what these people had at the tables or do I want to return to my life of chaos and insanity and doing the same thing over, and over again getting the same results. It did not take me very long before I decided I had to let the abusive, using, drinking, violent, alcoholic boyfriend go. Of course I knew this would not be an easy process since I completely depended on him for my economic security but if I wanted to move forward I had to do it. Once I made that decision I depended completely on the people around the tables in meeting to get through it.
Once I made this decision I stuck with it. Besides I was promised a whole new outlook on life and a chance to live in peace and serenity. This was the best thing I ever did in my sobriety. No more co-dependency. Besides I could not fix him but I had the opportunity to fix me and that was all I wanted at that time. As I got more and more time around the tables I struggled with my finances. I use to run from my bill collectors and close my eyes and hope they would go away. As I continued to go to meetings and share my situation people around the tables would share their solution with me. The solution was to not run but call my bill collectors and explain my situation and try to work things out. WOW, what a solution, and it worked. I was more and more convinced that there was a whole new way of life. I never dealt with my finances in this way.
Only by the Grace of God today I have learned from the people around the tables to have Good Orderly Direction and today I deal with my finances the same way that was shared with me in the beginning. Of course I had to sit down and make a list of my needs and my wants and I had to weed out the things I wanted that I was paying for and focus on my needs such as my home, electric, water, food. I never realized all the things I was paying for that I truly did not need at that time. I got a job to help myself to pay my bills and all of a sudden I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
It works if you work it.
Today I’m not truly free of fear but as soon as I get paid, my bills are paid. Nothing more and nothing less. Sometimes I may have to juggle a couple of bills but I call my bill collectors and work things out. There is a solution. There is peace in my and I have financial security. I no longer avoid the bill collector and deal with them head on. This was one of my 4th step character defects and I can make my amends today.
For all those struggling with economic insecurity if you work your steps thoroughly you will be free and become a responsible adult and deal with whatever comes your way. There is hope.
God Speed my Brothers and Sisters