It Still Hurts

This week was a very hard week for me. I have 3 grown children who still continue to make mistakes but today I have the tools to deal with it. That does not mean when we see them make mistakes that it still doesn’t hurt. I received some very sad news this week about my youngest daughter and broke down in a manic cry for hours, the pain of knowing where she is excruciating. I have the tools thanks to my therapist on dealing with these situations. Feeling is not my best option but the only option I have at this moment since I have no say in her life. I have a strong background in Co-Dependency (Thank You Melody Beattie ) and healthy boundaries today and so I don’t interfere with what is going on in their lives, it makes me a nervous wreck just knowing and I don’t think they realize sometimes how much it hurts a parent to see them go down a bad road with a bad person. Acceptance to me today is excepting the fact that it is not mine and minding my own business even though it is hard not to speak out. Knowing that this child of mine was just struggling not even a year ago and now she is in the same situation just breaks my heart but I cant do anything other then to feel the pain and go through the process and allow myself to feel whatever emotion it is. Sometime not saying anything is saying everything but it still hurts.
I know life is hard and things happen that we don’t want to happen but it is all in the way we react to these situations and I know better not to get involved as I feel it would just make it worse. Sometimes my emotions overload my mouth and I don’t need that right now. Love is the strongest feeling you can have for a person and my children are the people closest to me.The pain of knowing they will be hurt is the worst pain a parent can carry for a child but…It Still Hurts.


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