When I was going through therapy these memories were the hardest one’s to deal with as I had to deal with the feelings that I had cut off, numbed, and forgotten.
I sat down in the office as I usually do and we started to talk. I was asked “So when do you think the abuse started?” I was thinking. The first thing that came up was The Little Girl in The Room. In my mind I could picture this little girl in a cute ruffled dress backing up from the door every time it opened. She was scared and afraid of what was going to come through that door. I felt sympathy for her and just wanted to pick her up and hold her and tell her everything was going to be OK. The Little girl was so sad and scared and all I wanted to do was comfort her and protect her.
My therapist proceeded to ask me “Do you think that is you?” I realized then, yes it was me. It was such an eye opener for me. I had realized that I was locking myself in that room every time I got scared, or afraid. This was a big break through for me. I still think about that Little Girl in The room and for some reason I still protect her.